I'm writing this while half-asleep, so forgive me.

We all knew it was coming. It's been foretold since the beginning of time. Theologists, scientists, scientologists, and religious nutbags all told us this day would come.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are splitting.

No, I kid. Actually, it's about our planet's uncertain-yet-certain demise. It was speculated that the Mayans predicted the world to end on December 21st, 2012. Then others say it's December 21st, 2036. Of course, these weren't the only ones. According to this website, the world has been... well, "doomed for failure" since the beginning of time (as stated earlier). A lot of these predictions are based on calculations, which goes to show that while the Math is precise, it is far from accurate. It's almost foolproof, if you think about it. I can throw in some equations, find random Bible verses to back up my theory, and then throw the word "Reverend" or "Pastor" next to my name for safekeeping, and suddenly people will believe me.

The whole concept of Christianity/Islam is to lead by fear. Fear of a dark and scary place for those who decide that perhaps believing in a supernatural entity in the clouds is anything but intelligible. And no, I don't mean the basement of Sigfried and Roy. Although, I reckon they share similar experiences. "Believe in the Lord thy God, or else thou shalt be butt-fucked by two homosexuals in the City of Sin." There are supposed to be two prophets during the coming days of the apocalypse, so hey, what better way to feel the Word of God than to pay a shitload of money to see two gay men do questionable things with demoralized tigers?

Sorry. My bad. :)

But I digress. Now we have this Harold Camping fellow who felt that his logic was the only reasonable way to calculate our inevitable doom down to the exact hour. After all, how many times can you be wrong before you can be right? Well, he was wrong 3 times within a month in 1994, and again in 1995, after which he stopped setting specific dates for our global destruction. Think about it. What just happened on May 21st? People quit their jobs and drove vans and trucks and put up billboard signs declaring that the Rapture is coming. Like the Minister of Magic Rufus Scrimgeour once said, "These are dark times, there is no denying it."

The issue here is that we have dumbfucks who take this religious bullshit figurehead too seriously. People have listened to him in the past. And people quit their jobs because of his bullshit predictions. How are you going to apply for a job with that on your history? When they fill out their previous work history and put down reason for leaving, they can't put down "Waiting for Jesus" and expect the employers to take them seriously! Many people will agree that Christianity is based on faith. Irrational, illegitimate, misleading, blind faith. You can't argue logic with a holy roller. It just isn't going to happen. Their logic is "The Lord works in mysterious ways." If that's the case, why should I feel compelled to love and have 100% faith in an egomaniac who likes to fuck with us for his Great Plan? The whole idea of God's plan is to create an existence of mortal beings with potentially immortal souls, only to wipe us out in the end. That's basically saying the entire human race is a heaping science experiment. And all of the other creatures on this planet? Species that have yet to be discovered, or animals that only exist to eat grapes on trees. Again, a science experiment. Give him a magnifying glass and call it the Rapture.

This planet has been through hell and back. Now we face global warming, North Korea (sometimes), Iran (every so often), and the GOP. The planet survived a massive meteor that may have wiped out the Little Foots and Spikes, but we're here and overpopulated. While I cannot find the logic in the religious aspect of the Rapture, the logical side would help out our planet for the time being. If millions of people were to suddenly disappear, our global economy would probably expand to great heights. People can finally get jobs and pay for products made by other people who are finally able to get jobs to make shit, so they can get paid to buy MORE shit.

Perhaps Harold Camping and his interpretation of the Bible are the ones doomed for failure, not us.